Two weeks ago I participated in what most people designate to be the ultimate example of nerdiness, a larp. For the uninitiated, larp stands for live action role-playing, and it usually involves a role-playing game, like D&D, being acted out in costume by its players. I was convinced to try the game by a guy at work who has been playing for several years, and his tales of wonder finally led to me driving two hours into northern Pennsylvania much too early on a Saturday morning.
The game I participated in, called Knight Realms, takes place once a month at various campgrounds. This month's game took place at Camp Daddy Allen in PA's Hickory Run State Park, and the game went all weekend, with players staying in the cabins provided (and hoping they didn't get attacked by orcs in the middle of the night). Leery about sleeping in unprotected cabins with people I didn't know, I decided to only go up for Saturday, and leave at night. When I arrived at around 11am, I parked on an extremely unsteady looking hill with the rest of the cars and wandered down the road until I started noticing various people wearing chainmail. Heartened that I had at least found the right place (road signs in PA being what they are), I was still concerned that I had no idea where I was actually supposed to go.
I was NPCing the event, which meant that instead of playing a specific character I had created, like I would in a table-top game, I would play various monsters or story characters that the people running the game needed to interact (i.e. fight) with the players. It also meant I could play for free, and wouldn't have to bring any costume stuff with me.
I eventually found the guy from work and he led me to the Logistics Office where all of the NPC's hung out, informing me that I was the only full-time NPC they had for the weekend. All of the other NPC's would be played by various players taking a few hours off from playing their characters. NPCing with me that afternoon would be the guy from work, a big guy that let me try on his chainmail (it made a very fetching dress on me), and a couple of skinny guys that could not have screamed "geek" anymore if they tried. This is not, I must say, intended as an insult; I actually found it fairly comforting.
A brief note on names: You may notice that in the paragraph above I don't mention the name of any of these people, and this is for a very good reason. I have no idea what their names are (except the guy I know from work, his name is Rob). Although the players in the Logistics office were out of character, it was not uncommon for them to call each other by their character's name. But this was done somewhat randomly, so that one person might be referred to by their first name, their character's first name, their character's last name and their character's nickname, all by the same person in the span of a half hour. People kept calling one of the guys running the game Allister, and for most of the afternoon I assumed it was last name. It wasn't until his time NPCing was up and he got back into character that I found it was actually his character's name.
So for my first bout of NPCing, the guy in charge decided we were going to go out as a band of raiding lizardmen. Unfortunately, there were only three lizard masks, so one of the lizardmen became a Summoner, and the rest of us became elementals. The job of resident air elemental went to yours truly. For this job I was given a blue tunic that hung down to my knees, a pair of clubs that were supposed to be my arms or claws or whatever, and a rubber mask with eye holes cut somewhere up on my forehead. If I hit someone with one of my clubs I was supposed yell out "2 Lightning" since that's the damage each of my club/claws did. I could also cast spells by hitting someone with my club, Gust of Wind which knocked someone back 5 feet, and Shockwave which kind of stunned them, or something. I don't think I ever really understood that one.
So, costumed and armed, we headed out towards the cabins. It was fairly quiet since it was early still, events tend to go on late into the night, so most players probably sleep in. We burst into various cabins, looking for one that had occupants and eventually came upon one who's occupants were standing on their porch. When they saw us approaching they immediately drew their weapons and huddled together just outside the door. As we got closer though, they separated a little and one of the girls held up her hand and yelled "Wall of Thorns!" Well, I didn't have to memorize the rulebook to figure out what the spell did, but I almost burst out laughing at the sight of her standing there confidently holding her hand up and glaring at us, as if daring us to try to get closer. The wall apparently protected the front of the porch, but we could still attack from the sides, just not well since there were no steps up. The wall, however, seemed to just be there to buy some time, because as soon as the girl put her hand down a guy came bursting out the door of the cabin, swinging a pair of swords like he had been doing it all his life. He wasn't even in costume yet, and had likely still been in bed since he was just wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans that looked like they had just been thrown on. He took on at least four of us in melee combat, successfully drawing us away from the cabin's other occupants, and dispatched us pretty easily. Do you remember the lightsaber fights in the new Star Wars movies? This guy fought like that. He hit me so quickly so many times that I couldn't even hope of keeping track of hit points, so I just fell down dead when I decided I didn't want to get hit anymore. The weapons they use are soft, foam things, but they still hurt when someone whacks your arm with them seventeen times in the span of five seconds.
Rob later told me the guy was a friend of his, and one of the highest level characters in the game. He had been playing for almost five years. I guess after five years of swinging swords around, you had better be good at it.
After getting our asses kicked we respawned as another group of marauding lizardmen and continued knocking on cabin doors. We found one guy alone in his cabin and killed him pretty easily before moving on, but word of our presence had reached the ears of everyone else in the area, and they had gathered on the nearby road to face us.
I must say, I have a new-found sympathy for warlock pets in World of Warcraft. I never really considered how much it must suck to be summoned up to do some asshole's dirty work and die a painful death in the process, only to be resummoned a few seconds later to finish off said dirty work. I must have died about five times during that battle on the road but the Summoner (a.k.a. asshole) just kept resummoning all of his elementals while he hid behind some trees. For some reason, none of the players seemed to know the cardinal rule of fighting anything that can summon other things, that being always kill the damned summoner FIRST. It got to the point that around the fourth or fifth time we died, Rob (also playing an elemental) mentioned this to the guy who killed us and pointed out which lizard guy was our summoner.
Also, being surrounded? Not fun. I really understand those flanking rules from D&D now, cuz it is really, really hard to pay attention to two people trying to hurt you at once, not to mention eight people trying to hurt you at once. I eventually learned how to spam my Gust of Wind spell to keep them away, but since it drew from my hit points every time I cast it, it wasn't exactly an effective defense strategy.
At one point about four guys were advancing on me, so I kept backing up so they couldn't surround me and ended up backing up to the trees. What I didn't realize was the ground sloped off where the road met the trees, so my backing up resulted in me tumbling backwards down the hill. I didn't tumble far, thanks to a tree and some handy thorn bushes that blocked my path, but I did scrape up my arm pretty bad. My first (of many) injury of the day.
So after we were all finally totally dead it was time to head back to Logistics. Apparently on Saturdays in the early afternoon there is something called Market Fair held at the inn. Players can buy or sell food or items for in-game money there, and most of them at least stop by for lunch. In general, it was apparently frowned upon to send out overt combat encounters during market fair, since it was more of a social and roleplaying experience. So it was decided two of our number would be sent out as "Merchants of Khormyre", meaning they were part of the Khormyre (I have no idea if that's spelled right) Merchant's Guild (I think) which had a deal with the Rogue's Guild (meaning they wouldn't rob them, I think). Khormyre merchants usually had interesting stuff to sell, so by sending them to market fair it would give players a chance to get their hands on some cool loot, but because they were from Khormyre they weren't bound by local pricing laws, so the stuff they sold was really expensive.
Khormyre merchants also, apparently, were known for being stuck-up, arrogant bastards, and the guys who played the merchants had this down pat, right down to the terrible English accents. Because of this, they brought three bodyguards with them, including myself, to protect them if anyone tried to steal their stuff (unlikely, due to the agreement with the rogue's guild) or just knife them out of sheer annoyance (much more likely). I got to wear chainmail, which, I will admit reluctantly, was kinda cool, but otherwise the bodyguard gig was kinda boring. No one tried to attack or steal from the merchants, so we just ended up following them around the inn as they peddled their wares and got on people's nerves.
It was interesting, however, in that I got to see the inn for the first time. The inn was actually the dining hall for the camp, but it was all decorated up to look like a medieval tavern. Drinks were served in unmarked glass bottles and there were candles on all of the tables. And people were selling stuff. If you have an out-of-game skill that can fit into the Knight Realms environment, you're apparently encouraged to use it to make in-game money. There was one table with a huge rack of weapons for sale, all soft weapons so they could be used in the game, but beautifully-made. There was an elf selling jewelry, a woman giving tarot card readings, another woman selling what was supposed to be a special liquor from her homeland, and a goblin selling cookies. The merchants we were with actually ended up buying the cookies, the whole bowl, because the goblin was only selling them for 2 silver each, and the merchants figured they could do better than that. However, that was before they tasted the cookies, after which they decided just to eat them. I was given a single cookie as payment for my bodyguard services, and it was a very good cookie.
When we returned to Logistics from bodyguard duty it was time to shift change for the non-full time NPCs, so I bid goodbye to Rob and the others and sat on the uncomfortable, mattress-less beds for a little while waiting for the next shift to show up.
This looks like a good place to stop for now, mostly cuz I don't feel like writing anymore right now. To Be Continued...
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Friends Don't Let Friends Drunk IM
marshall089 (12:08:37 AM) : sam, i love you
Auto Response from TinyDanser84 (12:08:37 AM) : "You should know I was thrice-named Alternate Sword Master at the Southern Area Regional Volunteer Infantry Re-enactment Regiment."
"I wanted to be a Jedi."
Auto Response from TinyDanser84
"I wanted to be a Jedi."
marshall089 (12:08:48 AM) : escpialyl when yuo alway have my quotes in youj priofile
marshall089 (12:08:55 AM) : in incerase my lvoe fo r oyu
marshall089 (12:09:24 AM) : lol
marshall089 (12:09:38 AM) : my stepdad said about dr who again
marshall089 (12:09:43 AM) : and i mentioned john simm as the master
marshall089 (12:10:04 AM) : and yes
marshall089 (12:10:11 AM) : you will always be hot cholate to me
marshall089 (12:10:22 AM) : even though you are the 2nd whitest girl i've ever known
marshall089 (12:10:29 AM) : my best firned's gf woud be the whitests
marshall089 (12:10:34 AM) : she is goddamn pale
marshall089 (12:11:39 AM) : i loled so hard
marshall089 (12:11:47 AM) : at your pvfoielfe
marshall089 (12:11:51 AM) : i would even laugh
marshall089 (12:11:56 AM) : if iw ans't completenyl;y drunk
marshall089 (12:11:59 AM) : and about to apaasss out
marshall089 (12:12:01 AM) : i had liek
marshall089 (12:12:04 AM) : um
marshall089 (12:12:07 AM) : 8-9 beers
marshall089 (12:12:11 AM) : 2 shtos of tequlia
marshall089 (12:12:15 AM) : and a nother mystery shot
marshall089 (12:12:18 AM) : they called triple t
marshall089 (12:12:20 AM) : also
marshall089 (12:12:27 AM) : my friend had a cup of a mixed drink
marshall089 (12:12:29 AM) : i have no diea
marshall089 (12:12:32 AM) : what it was
marshall089 (12:12:35 AM) : but i chugged it
marshall089 (12:12:38 AM) : thejn isang in rockband
marshall089 (12:12:43 AM) : i hope this is entertianing
marshall089 (12:12:45 AM) : when you wake up
marshall089 (12:12:47 AM) : if ti is
marshall089 (12:12:49 AM) : jsut say so
marshall089 (12:12:55 AM) : i want to know
marshall089 (12:13:00 AM) : if druknklened ness is happy
marshall089 (12:13:01 AM) : OMG
marshall089 (12:13:03 AM) : I SANG
marshall089 (12:13:06 AM) : IN ROCK bAND
marshall089 (12:13:10 AM) : ujmmm
marshall089 (12:13:13 AM) : STILL ALIVE
marshall089 (12:13:13 AM) : YEAH
marshall089 (12:13:14 AM) : OMG
marshall089 (12:13:16 AM) : I SAN GIT
marshall089 (12:13:18 AM) : AND DID GOOD
marshall089 (12:13:22 AM) : GLADoS
marshall089 (12:13:26 AM) : ^)^
marshall089 (12:13:30 AM) : ^_^
marshall089 (12:13:31 AM) : is waht i emant
marshall089 (12:13:37 AM) : good night assnugget
marshall089 (12:13:40 AM) : even thougj
marshall089 (12:13:44 AM) : yu're saslseep
marshall089 went away at 12:13:52 AM.
marshall089 returned at 12:14:11 AM.
marshall089 (12:14:19 AM) : oh
marshall089 (12:14:22 AM) : one last thing
marshall089 (12:14:25 AM) : on okcupid
marshall089 (12:14:28 AM) : amielia foudn me
marshall089 (12:14:37 AM) : and we exacanted messages
marshall089 (12:14:45 AM) : and she also could see my journal
marshall089 (12:14:51 AM) : about why i dont want to date
marshall089 (12:14:55 AM) : because i hate woemne
marshall089 (12:14:58 AM) : buecase they are bitches
marshall089 (12:15:01 AM) : theya ll are
marshall089 (12:15:02 AM) : ...
marshall089 (12:15:05 AM) : no offence sam
marshall089 (12:15:12 AM) : you're cool
marshall089 (12:15:13 AM) : lol
marshall089 (12:15:21 AM) : good mronign
marshall089 went away at 12:15:31 AM.
marshall089 returned at 12:16:45 AM.
marshall089 (12:16:55 AM) : me and her were like 53% matches
marshall089 (12:17:13 AM) : it is sad that you are one of the most dateable girls to me imho
marshall089 (12:17:19 AM) : and you are in nj
marshall089 (12:17:23 AM) : omg
marshall089 (12:17:25 AM) : i am so drunk
marshall089 (12:17:30 AM) : and i hafe been ramvlinbg
marshall089 (12:17:32 AM) : omg
marshall089 (12:17:34 AM) : im sdtoppign
marshall089 (12:17:36 AM) : rasllay loggin
marshall089 (12:17:38 AM) : ogfff
marshall089 (12:17:40 AM) : or soemthing
marshall089 went away at 12:17:49 AM.
marshall089 returned at 12:28:14 AM.
marshall089 (12:28:20 AM) : shit
marshall089 (12:28:24 AM) : one last tning
marshall089 (12:28:27 AM) : somathan moffat
marshall089 (12:28:32 AM) : happy birthdat
marshall089 (12:28:35 AM) : 
marshall089 (12:28:37 AM) : 
marshall089 (12:28:46 AM) : i went to bed
marshall089 (12:28:47 AM) : drunk
marshall089 (12:28:50 AM) : about to opas out
marshall089 (12:28:51 AM) : and thought
marshall089 (12:28:55 AM) : damn i said all that shti to sam
marshall089 (12:29:00 AM) : and it i stechnically her bday
marshall089 (12:29:05 AM) : i might as well say happy bday rtoo
marshall089 (12:29:11 AM) : whiole telling her all yhat oeht ers hti
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Mazes and Murder: The Further Adventures of Meg and Lyz
We last left Meg and Lyz hiding in a large cavern that was somehow part of the research complex they were trying to escape. They had made camp in a heavily forested part of the cavern, and decided to relax for a little while. Having been running for their lives mostly non-stop since they had met, neither really knew anything about the other, so they used their downtime to properly introduce themselves. Lyz regaled her quest to find her lost sailor sweetheart, and how her search had brought her to a fairy ring that turned out to be a trap by denizens of the facility they were currently hiding in. Meg shared her story of life on the streets and high seas until she was kidnapped along with some visiting wizards and imprisoned on a boat. Her and the wizards found themselves on an island that was being overtaken by a shadowy presence, and upon defeating that presence, Meg was sucked through a portal, landing her in her current situation.
Having gotten to know each other, the two women decided to explore the cavern they had found. Meg mentioned that she had been there before, but had not explored it thoroughly. They headed north and came across a small goblin camp. The goblins were roasting some kind of meat over the fire, and the sight of food reminded the girls how low on rations they were. Meg reasonably suggested a surprise attack on the goblins so they could take the food, but Lyz insisted on trying to talk to them first, hoping they would be willing to simply share their food. This did not go over well. Meg stayed hidden in the underbrush while Lyz approached the camp, and the goblins seemed overjoyed at how easy their next meal would prove to be. They attacked as soon as she came close enough to stab, and with Meg occupied by a sniper in the trees, the battle did not start out well. One overly eager goblin was even able to rip a chunk of flesh from Lyz's arm with a fork and knife, chowing down on it in the middle of battle. Fortunately, once they had their wits back about them, Meg and Lyz took down the goblins fairly easily, and helped themselves to their meager supplies.
After resting, they continued to head north. The forest became much darker and thicker, and numerous feathers and tracks told them there were owlbears nearby. They successfully avoided running into any, but did come to a clearing with an odd metal statue in the middle. The statue was of a man and seemed to be made of tin or a similar metal. There was a gaping hole in the statue's chest and back, however, where the metal was peeled back, as if something had exploded out of it. Somewhat puzzled and thoroughly creeped out, the pair continued onward.
They eventually came to a large formation of stones that Meg vaguely recognized from the last time she was in this cavern. They surrounded an impossibly tall, brightly lit tower that she knew she recognized, and the girls decided the tower was as good a spot as any to head towards. The stones surrounding the tower were at least as tall as Meg, and it wasn't until she stepped into the formation that she remembered they formed a shifting, confusing labyrinth. Knowing nothing about the labyrinth, Lyz followed her into the stone formation and also became instantly lost. They wandered for a little while trying to find each other before Lyz got frustrated and pulled out her broomstick. Enchanting it to fly, she took to the skies above the labyrinth and managed to find Meg. They flew over the maze and landed safely in the grass surrounding the base of the tower.
The tower was even bigger up close, so big around that they could barely see it curve. They followed the wall of the tower, exploring the area around it, and noticed several dead creatures of various types lying around it. The only thing the creatures seemed to have in common, apart from being dead, was that they were all embedded into the ground, some several feet into the ground. Taking this as a warning, they proceeded carefully around the tower until they found a huge set of double doors. Near the doors was a stone pedestal with an engraving neither of them could read. Deciding to rest before attempting to open the door, they made camp in one of the deeper impressions in the ground, this one occupied only by a large skull.
When they woke the next morning and scrambled out of their hole, they were surprised to discover a golden statue of a minotaur standing on the once-empty stone pedestal. The statue didn't look friendly, so they decided to leave it alone for now. Turning their attention to the door, they noticed a small tablet embedded in the wall next to it. There was no locking mechanism on it, simply the words, "When is a door not a door?" Meg blinked for a few seconds before asking Lyz, "When it's ajar?" To both of their surprise, the large doors groaned open.
Within the tower was a large open room with doors on both sides leading off to unknown rooms. In the very middle of the room was an open pit in the floor, a matching hole in the ceiling above it. The purpose of the pit confused the girls at first, but as they watched, a loud rumbling sound filled the room and a large something barreled down the shaft, almost too fast to see. The pit seemed to be guarded by a man in a guard's uniform, but with a black armband neither girl had seen before. Whoever this guard was, he probably wasn't affiliated with the guards back in the living quarters. They were still wearing servant's uniforms, so they decided to approach the guard. As soon as the guard saw them, however, he became hostile and demanded to know why they were there. Lyz tried to explain that they had simply gotten lost and need to find their way back to the servant's quarters, but the guard didn't buy it. He managed to yell "Intruders!" before Meg pulled out her crossbow and shot him in the neck, killing him.
Fearing reinforcements, they hid in a corner and waited for the other guards to come out. They came out of one of the rooms off to the side and dragged the dead orc in before coming back out to look for the intruders. Once they did, the pair decided they could probably take them, so Meg greeted them with another shot from her crossbow and Lyz started conjuring a storm cloud in order to bring a little lightning to the fight. The guards ended up being tougher than they thought, especially one particular guard, a large lizardman who seemed to be a leader of some kind. Meg finally dealt him a killing stab to the back with her rapier and as soon as he died his body stiffened and turned to stone, trapping Meg's rapier. It took all of her strength to pull it out again.
Once the guards were dealt with and their monies and fineries taken, the pair explored the room off to the side where the guards had come out of. It seemed to be a barracks of some kind, filled with cots, one of which held the first guard Meg had killed. A voice was coming from a strange device sitting on a table in the room, demanding to know what was going on. Lyz impersonated one of the guards, telling them that everything was fine and, due to her excellent people skills, did a lot better than Han Solo did. Whoever was on the other end of the intercom seemed to believe her and switched off, allowing them to search the room for anything interesting. Lyz was excited to find a romance novel hidden under one of the cots, as it was part of the "Captain Segueway" series she had recently started reading. Meg inspected the body of the dead guard, an orc, and found a silver ring on one of his fingers, with the name "Lenore" inscribed on it. The ring was not magical, but very lovely, so Meg pulled it off the orc's finger, and slipped it on her own, delighted at its beauty.
Returning to the main room, Meg and Lyz discovered a set of rope-operated lifts near the pit. Not sure where they went or how sturdy they were, they decided to leave them be for now, and checked out the door on the opposite wall. It led to a narrow set of stairs that seemed to wind all the way around the tower. The stairs were extremely dusty and looked like they hadn't been used in quite some time, so they decided to see where they led. After climbing for hours they finally made it to another floor. It was laid out almost exactly like the one below, but they noticed that when the something passed through the shaft here, a ring of sparks and flame flew up from around the pit. The pit was guarded by a large humanoid completely covered in a suit of full plate, holding a huge greatsword.
Deciding whoever it was probably shouldn't be tangled with, Meg disguised herself as one of the human guards they had killed downstairs and put on one of the stolen guard uniforms. While Lyz stayed behind in the stairwell, she approached the guard and told it she had come to relieve it. The guard considered this for a moment before nodding and starting to walk away. It stopped quite suddenly however, turning back to Meg and putting its visor up. With the visor up, they could see the guard was a female orc and it was staring in shock and rage at the ring on Meg's finger. Without warning she charged Meg, greatsword at the ready. Both Lyz and Meg proved quicker than she was, though, as Lyz immediately jumped out from the stairwell and threw her dagger at the orc, and Meg met her charge with a stab from her rapier. Unfortunately, both attacks proved ineffective against the orc's armor. Lyz once again started to call up a lightning storm and Meg did her best to find the chinks in heavy plate the orc wore. The orc was quite proficient with her huge sword and despite Meg's agile dodging, she was beaten and bloody by the time they finally killed the orc. Coughing up blood, Meg decided to do a quick search before retreating somewhere safe to rest. They had no intention of lugging around the orc's heavy armor, but a quick Detect Magic spell by Lyz showed the breastplate and sword the orc carried were both magical, so she stuck them in her bag of holding to be identified later. Meg also found a silver ring on her finger, identical to the one she had taken off the guard downstairs, except inscribed on it was the word "Beloved". Not one to leave something shiny, Meg took this ring as well, putting it on her other hand. A few quick healing spells by Lyz later, and they were both healthy enough to hobble back to the deserted stairwell, where they finally rested.
Stay tuned for next week's harrowing and likely amoral episode of The Adventures of Meg and Lyz!
Having gotten to know each other, the two women decided to explore the cavern they had found. Meg mentioned that she had been there before, but had not explored it thoroughly. They headed north and came across a small goblin camp. The goblins were roasting some kind of meat over the fire, and the sight of food reminded the girls how low on rations they were. Meg reasonably suggested a surprise attack on the goblins so they could take the food, but Lyz insisted on trying to talk to them first, hoping they would be willing to simply share their food. This did not go over well. Meg stayed hidden in the underbrush while Lyz approached the camp, and the goblins seemed overjoyed at how easy their next meal would prove to be. They attacked as soon as she came close enough to stab, and with Meg occupied by a sniper in the trees, the battle did not start out well. One overly eager goblin was even able to rip a chunk of flesh from Lyz's arm with a fork and knife, chowing down on it in the middle of battle. Fortunately, once they had their wits back about them, Meg and Lyz took down the goblins fairly easily, and helped themselves to their meager supplies.
After resting, they continued to head north. The forest became much darker and thicker, and numerous feathers and tracks told them there were owlbears nearby. They successfully avoided running into any, but did come to a clearing with an odd metal statue in the middle. The statue was of a man and seemed to be made of tin or a similar metal. There was a gaping hole in the statue's chest and back, however, where the metal was peeled back, as if something had exploded out of it. Somewhat puzzled and thoroughly creeped out, the pair continued onward.
They eventually came to a large formation of stones that Meg vaguely recognized from the last time she was in this cavern. They surrounded an impossibly tall, brightly lit tower that she knew she recognized, and the girls decided the tower was as good a spot as any to head towards. The stones surrounding the tower were at least as tall as Meg, and it wasn't until she stepped into the formation that she remembered they formed a shifting, confusing labyrinth. Knowing nothing about the labyrinth, Lyz followed her into the stone formation and also became instantly lost. They wandered for a little while trying to find each other before Lyz got frustrated and pulled out her broomstick. Enchanting it to fly, she took to the skies above the labyrinth and managed to find Meg. They flew over the maze and landed safely in the grass surrounding the base of the tower.
The tower was even bigger up close, so big around that they could barely see it curve. They followed the wall of the tower, exploring the area around it, and noticed several dead creatures of various types lying around it. The only thing the creatures seemed to have in common, apart from being dead, was that they were all embedded into the ground, some several feet into the ground. Taking this as a warning, they proceeded carefully around the tower until they found a huge set of double doors. Near the doors was a stone pedestal with an engraving neither of them could read. Deciding to rest before attempting to open the door, they made camp in one of the deeper impressions in the ground, this one occupied only by a large skull.
When they woke the next morning and scrambled out of their hole, they were surprised to discover a golden statue of a minotaur standing on the once-empty stone pedestal. The statue didn't look friendly, so they decided to leave it alone for now. Turning their attention to the door, they noticed a small tablet embedded in the wall next to it. There was no locking mechanism on it, simply the words, "When is a door not a door?" Meg blinked for a few seconds before asking Lyz, "When it's ajar?" To both of their surprise, the large doors groaned open.
Within the tower was a large open room with doors on both sides leading off to unknown rooms. In the very middle of the room was an open pit in the floor, a matching hole in the ceiling above it. The purpose of the pit confused the girls at first, but as they watched, a loud rumbling sound filled the room and a large something barreled down the shaft, almost too fast to see. The pit seemed to be guarded by a man in a guard's uniform, but with a black armband neither girl had seen before. Whoever this guard was, he probably wasn't affiliated with the guards back in the living quarters. They were still wearing servant's uniforms, so they decided to approach the guard. As soon as the guard saw them, however, he became hostile and demanded to know why they were there. Lyz tried to explain that they had simply gotten lost and need to find their way back to the servant's quarters, but the guard didn't buy it. He managed to yell "Intruders!" before Meg pulled out her crossbow and shot him in the neck, killing him.
Fearing reinforcements, they hid in a corner and waited for the other guards to come out. They came out of one of the rooms off to the side and dragged the dead orc in before coming back out to look for the intruders. Once they did, the pair decided they could probably take them, so Meg greeted them with another shot from her crossbow and Lyz started conjuring a storm cloud in order to bring a little lightning to the fight. The guards ended up being tougher than they thought, especially one particular guard, a large lizardman who seemed to be a leader of some kind. Meg finally dealt him a killing stab to the back with her rapier and as soon as he died his body stiffened and turned to stone, trapping Meg's rapier. It took all of her strength to pull it out again.
Once the guards were dealt with and their monies and fineries taken, the pair explored the room off to the side where the guards had come out of. It seemed to be a barracks of some kind, filled with cots, one of which held the first guard Meg had killed. A voice was coming from a strange device sitting on a table in the room, demanding to know what was going on. Lyz impersonated one of the guards, telling them that everything was fine and, due to her excellent people skills, did a lot better than Han Solo did. Whoever was on the other end of the intercom seemed to believe her and switched off, allowing them to search the room for anything interesting. Lyz was excited to find a romance novel hidden under one of the cots, as it was part of the "Captain Segueway" series she had recently started reading. Meg inspected the body of the dead guard, an orc, and found a silver ring on one of his fingers, with the name "Lenore" inscribed on it. The ring was not magical, but very lovely, so Meg pulled it off the orc's finger, and slipped it on her own, delighted at its beauty.
Returning to the main room, Meg and Lyz discovered a set of rope-operated lifts near the pit. Not sure where they went or how sturdy they were, they decided to leave them be for now, and checked out the door on the opposite wall. It led to a narrow set of stairs that seemed to wind all the way around the tower. The stairs were extremely dusty and looked like they hadn't been used in quite some time, so they decided to see where they led. After climbing for hours they finally made it to another floor. It was laid out almost exactly like the one below, but they noticed that when the something passed through the shaft here, a ring of sparks and flame flew up from around the pit. The pit was guarded by a large humanoid completely covered in a suit of full plate, holding a huge greatsword.
Deciding whoever it was probably shouldn't be tangled with, Meg disguised herself as one of the human guards they had killed downstairs and put on one of the stolen guard uniforms. While Lyz stayed behind in the stairwell, she approached the guard and told it she had come to relieve it. The guard considered this for a moment before nodding and starting to walk away. It stopped quite suddenly however, turning back to Meg and putting its visor up. With the visor up, they could see the guard was a female orc and it was staring in shock and rage at the ring on Meg's finger. Without warning she charged Meg, greatsword at the ready. Both Lyz and Meg proved quicker than she was, though, as Lyz immediately jumped out from the stairwell and threw her dagger at the orc, and Meg met her charge with a stab from her rapier. Unfortunately, both attacks proved ineffective against the orc's armor. Lyz once again started to call up a lightning storm and Meg did her best to find the chinks in heavy plate the orc wore. The orc was quite proficient with her huge sword and despite Meg's agile dodging, she was beaten and bloody by the time they finally killed the orc. Coughing up blood, Meg decided to do a quick search before retreating somewhere safe to rest. They had no intention of lugging around the orc's heavy armor, but a quick Detect Magic spell by Lyz showed the breastplate and sword the orc carried were both magical, so she stuck them in her bag of holding to be identified later. Meg also found a silver ring on her finger, identical to the one she had taken off the guard downstairs, except inscribed on it was the word "Beloved". Not one to leave something shiny, Meg took this ring as well, putting it on her other hand. A few quick healing spells by Lyz later, and they were both healthy enough to hobble back to the deserted stairwell, where they finally rested.
Stay tuned for next week's harrowing and likely amoral episode of The Adventures of Meg and Lyz!
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